The Power of NO

By Tequila Cheatham


Human beings are naturally giving. It is normal for us to want to give others what they do not have and want. If we see others in need, it is intuitive to provide what it is they are in need of; but, we all know people who abuse the “Yes” factor. Many of us allow ourselves to be batty over certain people because we do not want to let them down. Some of us say “Yes” to everything because we do not want to be viewed differently; but, there is POWER in the ability of knowing when to say “No,” not just for yourself, but to the person on the other end of the “NO” rope.

When we reject someone, we are saying NO to:

  • Being taken advantage of
  • Spoiling someone rotten to the point s/he is ungrateful
  • Overwhelming ourselves
  • Not being seen as a pushover
  • Choosing others over ourselves
  • Being disrespected
  • Emotionally harming ourselves

It may seem like we are hurting the other person, or even ourselves; but in reality we are strengthening their emotional immune system. If someone says NO to us, it also helps improve our emotional state and better equip us for rejection. It is not easy telling a child NO when he sees a new toy or candy in the store. It is not easy telling a spouse NO when you need to settle your own mind first. It’s not even easy to tell a friend, relative, or coworker NO when you know it will be an inconvenience to us. That is not to say we should not sacrifice for others; It simply means we should not always put ourselves on the back burner for the sake of making sure every else is primarily happy. Our happy is just as important as others, and the moment we realize that, the more we will realize how urgent it is to store a couple of NO’s in our back pockets. When it is time to use one, be sure to, in the words of Kevin Hart, “Say it with your chest.”

N.O. spells…

When was the last time you said NO to someone?




1 thought on “The Power of NO”

  1. Deborah A. Dessaso says:

    Great article, Tequila. You may remember the books written years ago titled, “When I Say No, I Feel Guilty.” Seems many people have yet to learn that lesson–including me. But the older I get, the easier it seems to be getting to say “No.” I guess it’s because I realize that I don’t have as much time as I used to, so if I want to get something done, it means something else won’t get done! Anyhow…you mentioned that you would like others to contribute articles for your site. Any particular topics?

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