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Poem: Untitled

She had fears

of what others would say

about her newly, expanded hips,

and kangaroo pouch

for a baby she had 9 years

after 25, her body changed

as did her brain, Mom,

her new name became

the most rewarding, yet

stressful job to date

but not as stressful as

what she thought they’d say

to letting her stomach hang

out from underneath

the halter top she’d been dying

to wear but was too scared

of the backlash about black women

needing to feel ashamed

of show and telling everyone

they survived labor and

delivery was enough to birth

a new identity: a woman unafraid

of anyone’s “by all means”

telling her to cover up

a victory with no recollection

of anybody else pushing

out.the.frustration

of interns, nurses, and PhDs

gathering in the room, watching

as if it was reality TV

when she was simply

having a non-medicating,

non-sugical,

natural birth.

She had fears that disappeared

the moment she looked in

the mirror revealing her

reflection.

Took out her phone,

pointed in the direction

of her outie,

got in position,

counted down from three,

two,

one,

PUSH.

Click.

Then uploaded

onto the internet

unafraid

to represent

a new image.

Keep A Diary: Record Every Moment from Test to Birth

Keep a Diary; Record Every Moment Every Moment from Test to Birth

By Tequila Cheatham

“I’m What? Pregnant?” It is natural for me to write about my life experiences. The moment I took my first pregnancy test, I began documenting everything from physical and hormonal transformations to the relationship I had with my husband and extended family. My first pregnancy was a pivotal moment in my life. I went through a series of changes to become the woman and mother that I am today. My life has changed forever. Now, I have something for my son to look back on and laugh at when he gets older. I even hope it gives him insight on what to expect when his future wife goes through the motions of pregnancy, and assist him on knowing how to react under certain circumstances.

From questions about sexual pleasure to feelings of low self-esteem, I made sure to record it all. In October 2010, I cried when Maury said, “You are NOT the father.” Immediately, there was a stream of tears flowing from my eyes. It wasn’t funny back then, but it sure is hilarious now. I went from feeling joyous to feeling like an alien to postpartum depression all within a nine month time frame. It’s interesting to look back on your recorded weight gain, eating habits, sleeping patterns, and compare them to your current situation. You realize, you’re no longer the person you used to be. It’s called, growth.

What is even more precious is reminiscing about the gasping sounds made when the pregnancy test revealed positive results; then watching your child become a little person right before your eyes.  Keeping a diary is a reminder that motherhood is connected to womanhood. Pay attention to your growth and live in every second for you are apart of and are witnessing a miracle.

Peace & Love

Picture0960 diary

Y & <3