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Reasons to Remove Family from Your Social Media

By Tequila Cheatham

“Andre Gray, who was credited for the invention of social media when he created the first Electronic Press Kit, (EPK) started a revolution in technology.” Without his release of the first EPK in 1995, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and others would not exist. Initially, the EPK was created for the sole purpose of making music become digital. Nowadays, people use social media for a variety of reasons such as to stay in contact with people from high school or college college, for business purposes, to make new friends with those from different walks of life, and to remain in contact with extended family members.

Although social media can be of good use, and keep people tuning in, it can also be irritating, in particular, when it comes to having immediate family on your page. People are abandoning the idea of calling up family members and friends on the telephone and using social media as a way to stay in touch. There are, indeed, some perks to having family on your pages. For example, if you’ve recently had a major accomplishment, social media is a great way to make an announcement to everyone simultaneously without feeling the guilt of telling one person over the other first. It is convenient in that sense but, it seems there are more drawbacks than benefits. Here is a list of reasons why you should consider removing your family from your social media platforms:

  1. They use social media to as a reason not to show love in person, on the phone, or to show artificial love.
  2. It encourages disconnection. When was the last time you’ve heard that person’s voice or listened to them breathing?
  3. You can’t be your full self. You may have really conservative grandmothers or gossipy cousins who like to jump to conclusions based on your posts. You find yourself barely on your page because you don’t want to say the wrong thing to piss off some of them, or to be the center of conversation at a family gathering…Well, at least i you’re not a confrontational person anyway.
  4. You don’t want to see your siblings talking negative about another member in public, or promoting the fact they are doing illegal activities to get by.
  5. If you have a business, and the family is not your first cheerleaders or supporters, you will be disappointed about their lack of support, and begin to question their care for you.
  6.  Some of them are TOO active on your page. They comment on every pic and status update when they should find something else to do with their time.
  7. They use your page to pry and be nosy.

Family is a controversial issue on social media whether they are biological or in-laws. You may find yourself calling a family member only for them not to answer but to see them writing on their Facebook wall. For those family members who give you some form of substance on their pages, who motivate you, and make you feel like they are nourishing you in some type of way, sure, keep them. For the family members who are artists and entrepreneurs of some form, sure, keep them on your page to support their latest endeavors. For others ask yourself why you continue to store them in your contacts on your pages but not in each other’s phone?Have you ever wondered whether they would call if they were not on your social media pages? It seems as if people are using as a way of saying they get a chance to see you on a daily basis, which is not true. Yes, they are able to see some of your accomplishments and moods but unless you’re the type to post every time you think, feel, or do something (Oh, they exist out there!), they don’t know who you really are, and vice versa. They just know the person on the page because that’s who they connect with every time they log in. Let’s try unplugging from social media to have meaningful experiences with each other in real life. Not being on social media forces us to make real time for the people we care about instead of making excuses. We are so connected that we’re disconnected. Instead of writing on each other’s statuses from the next room, try having an actual conversation. You’ll be amazed at how much you can learn one another in actuality.

 

Do you agree, or disagree?

Let us know in the comment section below.

 

Reference:

“Who Invented Social Media?” Retrieved from https://www.quora.com/Who-invented-social-media

Pic credit goes to colourbox.com

 

 

You Can’t Share People, People!

By Tequila Cheatham

Pic Credit: mudrunguide.com

As children, you are told to share everything: your snacks, toys, crayons, hair brush, and even clothes. If you were one of the selfless children, you shared without hesitation because you wanted others to experience a joy similar to your own. Sharing material things is different from dividing time, work, and space with others.

The infamous phrase, “Sharing is caring” has been taken to another level. Yes, you care about someone if you voluntarily split your portion of cake; but, this same ideology becomes tainted and twisted when you think that it is not acceptable to split a portion of a person with another person. For example, the moral majority would rule out the idea of sharing their mate with another because they do not want to feel they only have a portion of their mate while someone else has the other portion. They cannot fathom their mates doing and feeling the same exact thing with another. The first problem lies in the belief that people can be shared.

You see, the idea of sharing someone implies that person is a thing, a commodity. People are human beings; It is illegal to own other human beings. This is not the slavery days where people are treated as chattel in their relationships.

Language and its use of possessive pronouns has complicated the topic even further. For the sake of colloquialism, you have become accustomed to using ‘my’ which has created a complex in your brain. In order to respect your mate as an individual with his or her own desires and dreams, it is important to understand that person allows you to be in his/her life as a gift. You did not buy the person at an auction.

What you can do is share your life with people to, as stated on Google, “use, occupy, or enjoy jointly.” If you discard the idea of being possessive and wipe your eyes to see from a different perspective, you will discover a world that will lead to strong bonding and connections with others that have greater possibilities than your insecurities, fears, and controlling demeanor.

Face it, no one belongs to you. People are not property which means, in theory and actuality, you would not be sharing. What you do share are moments, things, time, and ideas with people. It is time to stop treating each other like property and labeling it love.

 

 

Reference:

“Share.” https://www.google.com/search?q=sharing&hl=en&authuser=0&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjendmWtK_XAhUG9YMKHaeoBD4Q_AUICSgA&biw=1366&bih=613&dpr=1

Write A Love Letter

By Tequila Cheatham

Love Letter; Pic taken from “A Mindful Word”

Remember the first time you wrote a letter for that special crush in your class? Do you remember how you felt when you received a nice note from someone who really liked you expressing how much they would love to be with you? Then, when everyone found out you liked someone, they’d sing the dreaded song: “You and somebody sitting in the tree/ K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.”
Those were some fun days…
We get settled into our relationships and forget what it once felt like to write or even receive a love letter. Unfortunately, not many people write old fashion love letters anymore. With the advancement in technology, we are quick to send a text message confessing admiration, but it is not the same as a tangible letter. Some attempt to write but, the words do not flow as easily and before they know it, there is a pile of balled up papers in the trash or on the floor. Can you imagine how many times our crushes rewrote their love letters before handing them to us? The amount of vulnerability that goes into a letter is one of the reasons people deter from writing. It takes a lot to be vulnerable, especially on the page. That requires us to sit alone with our thoughts and reflect on how someone makes us feel. If you are not someone who communicates with words well, here is some advice when you write a love letter to the person you care for so deeply.
1. Relax. This is obviously someone who loves and understands you. Take a few deep breaths, and look at that paper and pencil as the mediator between your lover and your thoughts.
2. First, think about who this person is to you. Is it your girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband, lover/friend? Start by writing down the person’s name/nickname at the top of the page. You can even write hearts around the name if you need to do so.
3. Second, think about what that person brings to your life. What has the person done specifically to contribute to your life? Start this sentence with how much you appreciate the person and what they have done to increase your happy. Name specific times in your relationship that made an impact on you.
4. Third, remember when you first realized you were falling in love with your lover? Write about that experience, and when you finally decided to tell your mate verbally, that you had those feelings of admiration.
5. Fourth, where were you when you first realized you love this person, whether physically, or in your life? Where were you when you first told him/her that you professed your love to the world whether in person by holding hands, on social media, or even told your family? Write that, followed by your facial expressions and the way your heart felt in that moment.
6. Fifth, how does that experience make you feel to this day? How does your mate make your feel now? Are the feelings the same, or stronger? Are they anything like you’ve never imagined? How has their presence made you better? Say that.
7. Last, but not least, write the reason why you wrote the letter. Literally tell your mate how much you appreciate them being in your life. This is a time to show gratitude. This is where you make your love smile by really stating how you see yourselves in the future together, why you act the way you do when the person is around, and why you want that person to continue to remain in your life.
Simply put, a love letter is just a science observation. You are recording an analysis of what this person’s love do to you, and how it makes you the person you are today. This is chemistry baby, not algebra, so don’t make it more complicated than it has to be.
It can be as long or short as you want. Just focus on all of the good things, keep it positive. Enjoy reflecting on all of the moments that made your relationship what it is today. If you want to be fancy, add lyrics from your favorite song, quote a poem or movie lines from that person’s favorite romance movie. Spill your heart on the page;
Do not hold back. Make your lover blush the same way he/she did back in the elementary days. Only this time, they will know it’s real.
If you really want to get the full reaction of your mate, sit next to him/her while they read it, or verbally recite what you wrote while the candles are lit, the technology is off, and the wine is flowing. Celebrate the moment.