Reasons to Remove Family from Your Social Media

By Tequila Cheatham

“Andre Gray, who was credited for the invention of social media when he created the first Electronic Press Kit, (EPK) started a revolution in technology.” Without his release of the first EPK in 1995, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and others would not exist. Initially, the EPK was created for the sole purpose of making music become digital. Nowadays, people use social media for a variety of reasons such as to stay in contact with people from high school or college college, for business purposes, to make new friends with those from different walks of life, and to remain in contact with extended family members.

Although social media can be of good use, and keep people tuning in, it can also be irritating, in particular, when it comes to having immediate family on your page. People are abandoning the idea of calling up family members and friends on the telephone and using social media as a way to stay in touch. There are, indeed, some perks to having family on your pages. For example, if you’ve recently had a major accomplishment, social media is a great way to make an announcement to everyone simultaneously without feeling the guilt of telling one person over the other first. It is convenient in that sense but, it seems there are more drawbacks than benefits. Here is a list of reasons why you should consider removing your family from your social media platforms:

  1. They use social media to as a reason not to show love in person, on the phone, or to show artificial love.
  2. It encourages disconnection. When was the last time you’ve heard that person’s voice or listened to them breathing?
  3. You can’t be your full self. You may have really conservative grandmothers or gossipy cousins who like to jump to conclusions based on your posts. You find yourself barely on your page because you don’t want to say the wrong thing to piss off some of them, or to be the center of conversation at a family gathering…Well, at least i you’re not a confrontational person anyway.
  4. You don’t want to see your siblings talking negative about another member in public, or promoting the fact they are doing illegal activities to get by.
  5. If you have a business, and the family is not your first cheerleaders or supporters, you will be disappointed about their lack of support, and begin to question their care for you.
  6.  Some of them are TOO active on your page. They comment on every pic and status update when they should find something else to do with their time.
  7. They use your page to pry and be nosy.

Family is a controversial issue on social media whether they are biological or in-laws. You may find yourself calling a family member only for them not to answer but to see them writing on their Facebook wall. For those family members who give you some form of substance on their pages, who motivate you, and make you feel like they are nourishing you in some type of way, sure, keep them. For the family members who are artists and entrepreneurs of some form, sure, keep them on your page to support their latest endeavors. For others ask yourself why you continue to store them in your contacts on your pages but not in each other’s phone?Have you ever wondered whether they would call if they were not on your social media pages? It seems as if people are using as a way of saying they get a chance to see you on a daily basis, which is not true. Yes, they are able to see some of your accomplishments and moods but unless you’re the type to post every time you think, feel, or do something (Oh, they exist out there!), they don’t know who you really are, and vice versa. They just know the person on the page because that’s who they connect with every time they log in. Let’s try unplugging from social media to have meaningful experiences with each other in real life. Not being on social media forces us to make real time for the people we care about instead of making excuses. We are so connected that we’re disconnected. Instead of writing on each other’s statuses from the next room, try having an actual conversation. You’ll be amazed at how much you can learn one another in actuality.


Do you agree, or disagree?

Let us know in the comment section below.



“Who Invented Social Media?” Retrieved from https://www.quora.com/Who-invented-social-media

Pic credit goes to colourbox.com



Me too…

By Tequila Cheatham


Here we go again, another movement, only this time this one is different. As someone who doesn’t talk about personal experiences much to avoid being vulnerable, to avoid causing drama, and to keep from having a victim mentality, I attempt to forget about scary moments.

Sure, I have been discriminated against due to the color of my skin, but not as much as I have had to fight back for being a woman. In particular, I have been sexually harassed on many occasions by men. Many times I have stood up for myself; other times, I let it slide to preserve my energy.  The idea of these times resembling those in the older patriarchal days is concerning but, it is time to fight back. I remember standing up to the first guy, a family member, who decided to back off once he realized I wasn’t taking any shit from him. I was happy when I heard he passed away yet, felt guilty for having such resentful thoughts. For some reason, victims find a reason to blame themselves in some form of another. We apologize to and for the victimizers, giving excuses and understanding for their foul behavior.

Unfortunately, these men are usually the ones we know and are close to, so we suffer in silence until another woman speaks up and reminds us that we are victims no matter how much we attempt to put it in the back of our minds. We cover up the pain by throwing ourselves into work, being in unhealthy relationships, and sometimes via drug use. What is even more interesting though is how the victimizers go on with their lives as if nothing happened instead of having the courage to apologize, or to take it a step further, to turn themselves in after the apology. Despite it all, nothing makes it go away. We just learn to live on despite being sexually assaulted, harassed, molested, or raped.

I’ve heard the same story from my mother, other family members, and even close friends, and I always ask about the victimizer’s whereabouts. The answer almost always has something to do with living within the same city with the victim and not wanting to spill the beans because it will cause discomfort and turmoil for the rest of the family. The idea of fear manifesting itself in that very moment when the question is asked makes me cringe. Then, I think about one other guy who I’m continuing to cover up for similar reasons. Most of the time, these men are under the influence of some type of drug or alcohol and don’t even care about the harm they cause.

To some, I may be considered one of the lucky ones because nothing was done physically to me but, at a certain age, it was the only image that kept replaying in my brain. For other women, men have violated them repeatedly, for years, snatching away their childhood, sanity, and dreams. If these cowardly sick men don’t care about their actions, then we shouldn’t think twice about reporting their asses especially if the actions are repetitious and has a domino effect on other women.

Yeah, me too, but no one would have ever known because it’s a dirty secret that no victim, not even I, a writer, would want to tell until now…

Be strong. Let’s stand in our truth. Let’s heal each other.

Photo cred: kuer.com

Things To Do To Bond With Your Child

By Tequila Cheatham


      I always say: My son is the bestfriend to the little girl that lives in me. I can be a goofy person sometimes but, to him, I’m a comedian. While in the womb, I found different ways for us to connect. I would listen to relaxing music such as jazz or Chinese instrumentals, and could feel him gracefully swimming in my belly. I would have conversations with him as if he was in my arms. My son and I have done many fun things together which made our bond even stronger. We’ve done activities such as:

  1. Sing and Dance (our favorite)
  2. Cook
  3. Meditate/Pray
  4. Exercise
  5. Play with toys
  6. Card Games
  7. Board Games
  8. Taking walks
  9. The Park
  10. Outdoor/indoor movie night
  11. Food/ice cream Dates
  12. Sports of all types
  13. Read books
  14. Research questions about their animals
  15. Building a forte from sofa pillows
  16. Laugh
  17. Attend a local fair
  18. Chase squirrels and birds
  19. Color/painting in coloring books
  20. Visit an aquarium
  21. Kite flying
  22. science experiments
  23. feed the birds outside
  24. Hide-and-seek
  25. Take a road trip to the next state!

This is more of a general list of things to do with your kid, and they are also things you can do with your mate! There is only a slight difference between hanging out with your mate versus your kid(s). Your child may not be willing to walk around the neighborhood in the hot sun, but there is always something fun to do.  All of these can be exciting for you and your child as long as it is not looked upon as an extra chore. We all require time to connect and strengthen our bonds no matter the age or gender. Recreation builds imagination and releases stress that is built up on a daily basis at home, work, and school. No matter how busy our lives may be, we have to remember to be a kid with our kids sometimes. When they become adults, they will look back on the quality time spent together and will want to continue on with that friendship and connection. What better way to experience life and adventure other than with the people they love. Eventually, they will pass down their adventurous nature to their own children someday which will, ultimately, create a chain reaction of free spirited human beings.

What are some things you enjoy doing with your child?