4 Ways to Respond to Someone’s News

By Tequila Cheatham McCray

   Have you ever tried to express yourself to someone, only to feel like you made a mistake and would have been better off keeping it inside? Or, maybe, you are the one who responds to others in a way that makes it hard for people to open up to you. Either way, there is a problem with communication.

   Communication is a special art form that society is losing because there is a lack of consideration for the other person. A vital part of communication is listening, and the other is responding. Most of the time people listen simply to respond, and not for the sake of being attentive and understanding. Let’s change that. Here are four simple ways to respond to someone else’s news…

  1. Be sympathetic. Do not only show your condolence when someone dies or ill, Give them flowers while they are still alive by using phrases such as “I’m sorry that happened to you. Is there anything I can do to help?” This simple phrase lets the other person know that you care, and sometimes, that’s all s/he needs to hear.
  2. Be empathetic. This is different from being sympathetic. Having empathy means you can identify with what that person feels or is experiencing. You’re simply letting that person know s/he is not alone by using statements such as “I can relate,” “I understand,” and/or, “I hear you.” This planet is filled with close to seven billion people. There is no reason anyone should feel alone.
  3. Shock. Sometimes, you may be thrown off by some news. That is perfectly normal. You may find yourself saying things such as, “What”  “Are you serious” “Really” or even the popular acronym “WTF!” If your initial response is surprise, be sure to follow up with words of empathy and/or sympathy.
  4. Indifference. Unfortunately, this is the most common way that people respond to each other nowadays. Giving a careless response such as “Suck it up,” Get over it,” “Who cares” “Shut up” or simply just avoid the conversation to talk about oneself, is not constructive communication. As a matter of fact, if you become angry or frustrated when someone expresses his/her thoughts, you are destroying your relationship with that person by shutting down their emotions.

Communication requires a certain level of emotional intelligence and effort. You may not know how to effectively respond to someone’s news simply because you’re used to replying with the same reaction. It is time to be more creative. Instead of reacting right away, take a moment to really digest what is being said, be thoughtful. Master communication and you will notice an improvement in the quality of the relationships around you. Even on social media platforms, you can still be mindful to others even when you disagree. Help change the world one conversation at a time.

Reasons to Remove Family from Your Social Media

By Tequila Cheatham

“Andre Gray, who was credited for the invention of social media when he created the first Electronic Press Kit, (EPK) started a revolution in technology.” Without his release of the first EPK in 1995, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and others would not exist. Initially, the EPK was created for the sole purpose of making music become digital. Nowadays, people use social media for a variety of reasons such as to stay in contact with people from high school or college college, for business purposes, to make new friends with those from different walks of life, and to remain in contact with extended family members.

Although social media can be of good use, and keep people tuning in, it can also be irritating, in particular, when it comes to having immediate family on your page. People are abandoning the idea of calling up family members and friends on the telephone and using social media as a way to stay in touch. There are, indeed, some perks to having family on your pages. For example, if you’ve recently had a major accomplishment, social media is a great way to make an announcement to everyone simultaneously without feeling the guilt of telling one person over the other first. It is convenient in that sense but, it seems there are more drawbacks than benefits. Here is a list of reasons why you should consider removing your family from your social media platforms:

  1. They use social media to as a reason not to show love in person, on the phone, or to show artificial love.
  2. It encourages disconnection. When was the last time you’ve heard that person’s voice or listened to them breathing?
  3. You can’t be your full self. You may have really conservative grandmothers or gossipy cousins who like to jump to conclusions based on your posts. You find yourself barely on your page because you don’t want to say the wrong thing to piss off some of them, or to be the center of conversation at a family gathering…Well, at least i you’re not a confrontational person anyway.
  4. You don’t want to see your siblings talking negative about another member in public, or promoting the fact they are doing illegal activities to get by.
  5. If you have a business, and the family is not your first cheerleaders or supporters, you will be disappointed about their lack of support, and begin to question their care for you.
  6.  Some of them are TOO active on your page. They comment on every pic and status update when they should find something else to do with their time.
  7. They use your page to pry and be nosy.

Family is a controversial issue on social media whether they are biological or in-laws. You may find yourself calling a family member only for them not to answer but to see them writing on their Facebook wall. For those family members who give you some form of substance on their pages, who motivate you, and make you feel like they are nourishing you in some type of way, sure, keep them. For the family members who are artists and entrepreneurs of some form, sure, keep them on your page to support their latest endeavors. For others ask yourself why you continue to store them in your contacts on your pages but not in each other’s phone?Have you ever wondered whether they would call if they were not on your social media pages? It seems as if people are using as a way of saying they get a chance to see you on a daily basis, which is not true. Yes, they are able to see some of your accomplishments and moods but unless you’re the type to post every time you think, feel, or do something (Oh, they exist out there!), they don’t know who you really are, and vice versa. They just know the person on the page because that’s who they connect with every time they log in. Let’s try unplugging from social media to have meaningful experiences with each other in real life. Not being on social media forces us to make real time for the people we care about instead of making excuses. We are so connected that we’re disconnected. Instead of writing on each other’s statuses from the next room, try having an actual conversation. You’ll be amazed at how much you can learn one another in actuality.


Do you agree, or disagree?

Let us know in the comment section below.



“Who Invented Social Media?” Retrieved from https://www.quora.com/Who-invented-social-media

Pic credit goes to colourbox.com



You Can’t Share People, People!

By Tequila Cheatham

Pic Credit: mudrunguide.com

As children, you are told to share everything: your snacks, toys, crayons, hair brush, and even clothes. If you were one of the selfless children, you shared without hesitation because you wanted others to experience a joy similar to your own. Sharing material things is different from dividing time, work, and space with others.

The infamous phrase, “Sharing is caring” has been taken to another level. Yes, you care about someone if you voluntarily split your portion of cake; but, this same ideology becomes tainted and twisted when you think that it is not acceptable to split a portion of a person with another person. For example, the moral majority would rule out the idea of sharing their mate with another because they do not want to feel they only have a portion of their mate while someone else has the other portion. They cannot fathom their mates doing and feeling the same exact thing with another. The first problem lies in the belief that people can be shared.

You see, the idea of sharing someone implies that person is a thing, a commodity. People are human beings; It is illegal to own other human beings. This is not the slavery days where people are treated as chattel in their relationships.

Language and its use of possessive pronouns has complicated the topic even further. For the sake of colloquialism, you have become accustomed to using ‘my’ which has created a complex in your brain. In order to respect your mate as an individual with his or her own desires and dreams, it is important to understand that person allows you to be in his/her life as a gift. You did not buy the person at an auction.

What you can do is share your life with people to, as stated on Google, “use, occupy, or enjoy jointly.” If you discard the idea of being possessive and wipe your eyes to see from a different perspective, you will discover a world that will lead to strong bonding and connections with others that have greater possibilities than your insecurities, fears, and controlling demeanor.

Face it, no one belongs to you. People are not property which means, in theory and actuality, you would not be sharing. What you do share are moments, things, time, and ideas with people. It is time to stop treating each other like property and labeling it love.




“Share.” https://www.google.com/search?q=sharing&hl=en&authuser=0&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjendmWtK_XAhUG9YMKHaeoBD4Q_AUICSgA&biw=1366&bih=613&dpr=1