Reasons to Remove Family from Your Social Media

By Tequila Cheatham

“Andre Gray, who was credited for the invention of social media when he created the first Electronic Press Kit, (EPK) started a revolution in technology.” Without his release of the first EPK in 1995, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and others would not exist. Initially, the EPK was created for the sole purpose of making music become digital. Nowadays, people use social media for a variety of reasons such as to stay in contact with people from high school or college college, for business purposes, to make new friends with those from different walks of life, and to remain in contact with extended family members.

Although social media can be of good use, and keep people tuning in, it can also be irritating, in particular, when it comes to having immediate family on your page. People are abandoning the idea of calling up family members and friends on the telephone and using social media as a way to stay in touch. There are, indeed, some perks to having family on your pages. For example, if you’ve recently had a major accomplishment, social media is a great way to make an announcement to everyone simultaneously without feeling the guilt of telling one person over the other first. It is convenient in that sense but, it seems there are more drawbacks than benefits. Here is a list of reasons why you should consider removing your family from your social media platforms:

  1. They use social media to as a reason not to show love in person, on the phone, or to show artificial love.
  2. It encourages disconnection. When was the last time you’ve heard that person’s voice or listened to them breathing?
  3. You can’t be your full self. You may have really conservative grandmothers or gossipy cousins who like to jump to conclusions based on your posts. You find yourself barely on your page because you don’t want to say the wrong thing to piss off some of them, or to be the center of conversation at a family gathering…Well, at least i you’re not a confrontational person anyway.
  4. You don’t want to see your siblings talking negative about another member in public, or promoting the fact they are doing illegal activities to get by.
  5. If you have a business, and the family is not your first cheerleaders or supporters, you will be disappointed about their lack of support, and begin to question their care for you.
  6.  Some of them are TOO active on your page. They comment on every pic and status update when they should find something else to do with their time.
  7. They use your page to pry and be nosy.

Family is a controversial issue on social media whether they are biological or in-laws. You may find yourself calling a family member only for them not to answer but to see them writing on their Facebook wall. For those family members who give you some form of substance on their pages, who motivate you, and make you feel like they are nourishing you in some type of way, sure, keep them. For the family members who are artists and entrepreneurs of some form, sure, keep them on your page to support their latest endeavors. For others ask yourself why you continue to store them in your contacts on your pages but not in each other’s phone?Have you ever wondered whether they would call if they were not on your social media pages? It seems as if people are using as a way of saying they get a chance to see you on a daily basis, which is not true. Yes, they are able to see some of your accomplishments and moods but unless you’re the type to post every time you think, feel, or do something (Oh, they exist out there!), they don’t know who you really are, and vice versa. They just know the person on the page because that’s who they connect with every time they log in. Let’s try unplugging from social media to have meaningful experiences with each other in real life. Not being on social media forces us to make real time for the people we care about instead of making excuses. We are so connected that we’re disconnected. Instead of writing on each other’s statuses from the next room, try having an actual conversation. You’ll be amazed at how much you can learn one another in actuality.


Do you agree, or disagree?

Let us know in the comment section below.



“Who Invented Social Media?” Retrieved from https://www.quora.com/Who-invented-social-media

Pic credit goes to colourbox.com



I Was There: Justice or Else, Million Man March 2015

I Was There: Million Man March, 2015

By Tequila Cheatham McCray


         As I dressed myself in a beaded black-green-red bracelet, and a necklace with a peace sign decorated with the same African represented colors, I couldn’t help but wonder how Minister Farrakhan’s words would affect us all. What could he possibly say, that he hasn’t said, to inspire, to give hope, to equip the people with something they can take home to use in their “reborn” lives? Was he there to initiate rebirth? What plan did he have in store that would assist in dealing with police brutality and black-on-black crime? What spiritual message would he deliver that will feed the people and motivate them to remain spiritually full? Overall, how can this gathering make a difference aside from mimicking the first Million Man March that occurred twenty years ago in the same location?

As I boarded the green line train with people who appeared to be on their way to the march as well, I became excited, yet nervous. Would there be another case of Malcolm X, when the guy distracts the crowd with his boisterous, “GET YO HANDS OUTTA MY POCKET?” Will cops be there waiting for their chance to beat on the nearest Negro? Will Farrakhan say something that will trigger the crowd to release all of the anger we’ve built up over the years? I didn’t know what to expect; and, it made me nervous because my family was there. My husband excitedly claimed, “We’re about to be part of history.” I kindly reminded him that we are human beings living in these times, making us already a part of history. I’ve never seen so many brothers and sisters wear their ahnks and being proud to be there. It’s something we should do often.

With the voice of the minister echoing in the streets, I was ready to listen, but was bombarded by the many vendors selling T-shirts; some brothers from the Nation of Islam on the sideline waiting to instruct confused visitors; and, a crowd of people sitting around a huge television prompter where some were listening attentively and quietly to the speech, and others held side conversations with others. I was content with seeing so many African Americans, black people, Negroes of different religions and backgrounds come together for the cause…What was the cause? The initial cause, I thought, was to gather people together for the sole purpose of teaching how to get respect-money-legislation-love-family and creating a ripple effect for future generations. Depending on one’s mindset, and whether one view the glass half-empty or half-full, will determine whether s/he walked away moved or unmoved by the speech; but, I was there. Since I am an optimist and was once an English major, I am aware of the glass always being full: fifty-percent being liquid, and fifty-percent being air. That is why I walked away with more information than what some may have perceived as just another church sermon simply because he did not advocate violence. Here are my notes:


Being aware that most of the crowd supports Christianity, Minister Farrakhan focused primarily on the words of the Bible to encourage the people to listen. He used scriptures in both Genesis and Revelation to point out certain occurrences, and how America will reap what it has sown over the course of history including slavery. “America is under divine judgment.” With all of the money and resources residing in the hands of the 10%, the rich are knowingly sucking the life out of the poor. America has no future for you or me. She doesn’t even have a future for herself.” Knowing that many of us are among the poor, it does not prevent us from making the rich richer. We still spend our hard earned dollars in businesses that do nothing for our communities. We make them more powerful everytime we deny a local or black owned business our dollar. Until we understand that a part of the reason for strengthening belly beast, and do something about it, we will never progress. Everyone makes money off of us [black people], except us.


     With so many black families being destroyed, the minister presented us with intelligent, disciplined, and well-dressed brothers and sisters who are symbolic of unity. He was proud to say the women knew how to cook and fed their families food that promote longevity as oppose to greasy, unhealthy foods that sent them to the doctor; They help educate the children while the  young girls helped he older women. He pointed the men out as leaders who lead their families on the right path. He showed the young men who were in training to become the next leaders. The purpose was to demonstrate what our family units should resemble instead of what is being portrayed in the media. Have a stronger foundation for the family. Be disciplined. Control your finances. 20151010_142311 20151010_144518


It doesn’t matter what your religion is as long as we are connected by something bigger than our egos and prejudices. “LGBT community, we [Nation of Islam] welcome you. We accept people for who they are.” Our ability to love one another has nothing to do with our religion, rather our thinking. Our thinking and our mental shackles is what keeps us from connecting with others and even the universe. Make sure your religion allows you to love freely. Open up the mind more.


Love your neighbor as yourself. Toward the end of the speech, he told everyone to hug their neighbor. Not only does hugging your neighbor break the ice, it gives us all an indirect responsibility for each other whether we like it or not.


Many expected to attend the Justice or Else rally to be a gathering that got us all upset and motivated to hurt the ones that hurt us. The truth of the matter is, that rally was symbolic of unity and the things we can accomplish if only we stick together. It wasn’t just about men or women, black or white, but for all. The Else in the sentence is symbolic for the demise of black people and human race in general. Justice, or else we’re threatening all of humanity. Justice, or else karma is going to rear her ugly head. Justice, or else we will need to come up with new methods for survival. In the words of Dr. Martin Luther: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” Justice, or else no one will receive justice.


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Peace & LOve

Dueces & Hearts

Y & <3