Happiness Shouldn’t Depend On People, Unless…

By Tequila Cheatham


We’ve all been there: Someone comes along and feed our love language to the point we become addicted. We put off things-to-do just to spend time with the person. Sooner than later, that person is our source of happiness, and we don’t realize it until he or she is gone.

Depending on how the person exited our lives, and whether it is permanent or temporary, we act out throwing temper tantrums, plummeting ourselves into work, or writing grievance poetry in order to rid the pain. Some even mask the hurt with alcohol and drugs.

Yes, it is for certain that we are on this planet to help and contribute to each other’s lives. Yes, it is true that people will come and go. Yes, it is a fact that you will experience emotional hardship when they exit; but, if our happiness revolve solely on people, we will find ourselves on emotional roller-coasters and disappointed many days because people are inconsistent. As human beings, we cannot master doing everything right, on consistent basis, all of the time. Therefore, holding other human beings to that standard is not fair.

Happiness is not and should not be contingent on people unless it is to collaborate on bigger goals. Even then, we, as individuals, should take sole responsibility in how we allow others to play roles in our lives and to what extent. Ultimately, we are in control and should be aware of what increases our utility. The moment we depend on anyone else as our main source of fuel, will be the same moment we starve. That is not to say we shouldn’t depend on others at all, yet it is to say we should rely on ourselves more.

Of course, there are many factors that contribute to us being our smiley selves but the main ingredients flow from within; Self-awareness, self-fulfillment, self-acceptance, and gratitude are necessary in the pursuit. If we be who we are comfortably, do what we love, accept our lives based on the decisions we make, and appreciate everything about it, we will reach our goal of not solely depending on people unless it is our individual selves; Everyone else, is simply a bonus and should be treated as such. It is, indeed, an inside job.

When kids play, they remind us that happiness is an inside job. Photo Cred: The GrapeVine Sway LLC

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